Hi everyone, I’m going on vacation for eight days starting today*, and I am going to try not to do any work. That’s right, no work. Well, maybe one grant. I am going to relax on the beach, introduce my son to the ocean for the first time, and drink cocktails from hollowed-out tropical fruit. It will be so awesome.
If you haven’t taken any vacation time, I hope you will do so soon. Our field relies on effective people, and people can’t be as effective if they are burnt out. Take some time off and stop feeling guilty about it. Many of us are reluctant to take long vacations because of something I call “Avalanche Anxiety,” the fear that work will build up while were gone, and bury us when we get back. Take a few days off anyway. If you really insist on working the rest of the summer, then at least try to cut your hours down so you can sit in your garden or porch with a nice cold drink.
Here, I have several more cocktail recipes inspired by the nonprofit sector. There are a couple of recipes by NWB’s Facebook friends too.
The Cultural Competency. 1 shot vodka, 1 shot Kalua, 1 shot tequila, 1 shot sake, 1 shot whiskey. Mix everything together in a shaker with ice and strain into glass. Garnish with whatever exotic tropical fruit you can find. Drink slowly. Congratulations, you’re culturally competent!
The Founder: 1 shot gin, 1 shot vodka, I shot tequila, 1 shot blue curacao, 1 shot lemon juice, 1 tablespoon egg white, club soda, habanero pepper slice. Shake all ingredients except club soda with ice until cold. Pour into tall glass filled with ice. Top with club soda. Garnish with slice of habanero pepper (and if you have time, banana/lychee dolphin like in this picture). Strong, spicy, will not go down easily, and will leave you foaming at the mouth.
The Professional Development Budget: 2 shots cognac, 1 shot apricot curacao, 2 shots passion fruit juice, Bitter Lemon, mint leaves. You can’t afford cognac, apricot curacao, or passion fruit juice, so just throw some Bitter Lemon and mint leaves into a glass with ice and drink that.
The Evidence-Based Practice. Go around and ask your friends what kind of drink they want. Ignore them, because evidence suggests the martini is the most popular cocktail. 8 oz vodka or gin, .5 oz dry vermouth, .5 oz sweet vermouth, 4 olives stuffed with pimiento. Combine everything in shaker filled with ice and shake till really cold. Pour into four chilled martini glasses, or mugs if you’re at the office, and garnish with olives.
The Stupid Unnecessary Icebreaker: 3 shots vanilla vodka, a handful of candy corn, 1 shot Grand Marnier, a dash of Angostura bitters. Soak candy corn in vodka for 3 hours and strain. Shake infused vodka with Grand Marnier in shaker filled with ice. Rim glass with crushed candy corn. Pour drink into glass, add dash of Angostura. Corny, and leaves a slightly bitter aftertaste.
The Collective Impact: Make a drink for everyone. Halfway through the evening, yell “Collective Impact!” At that point, everyone pours whatever remains of their drinks into a communal bowl and the last person to do so must chug the combined drink while everyone around chants “Collective Impact! Collective Impact!” (What, like your kid’s birthday parties are soooo much more interesting).
The PB & J Shooter for the Donor Relations Team (contributed by Cheryl McFarlane). 3/4 ounce Frangelico. 3/4 ounce raspberry Chambord. Stir with ice (assuming there’s more than one and a half old evaporated ice cubes in the staff freezer) and strain into glass. Shoot it quick before you have another meeting, phone call, or email to respond to, urgent estate gift to deposit into the bank, etc. Mixes up faster than making the actual sandwich so you can spend your entire lunch at your desk.
The Snappy ED (contributed by J. Eric Smith): Kiwi Vodka, black cherry liqueur, shot of espresso, and dram of peach schnapps, served with a side of Pop Rocks. Fizzy, twitchy, fuzzy, and itchy. Just like you. Just like me. Just like all of us who work in this sector: wild, wonderful, and weird.
(Check out this post for 10 more nonprofit cocktail recipes including “The Executive Director” and the “Strategic Plan”)
*By the way, you probably shouldn’t announce online that you’re going on vacation, since that makes you a target for burglaries. If anyone is planning to burglarize our place, please keep in mind that we’re a nonprofit director and a teacher. We have nothing in our 700-foot condo except baby toys. Our most valuable possession is an 8-year-old TV. Please don’t take my TV…