Tag Archives: nonprofit humor

How Earth-friendly is your nonprofit or foundation? Take this quiz to find out

[Image description: An image of the earth, craddled between two bright green leaves, as if it were a fruit growing out of a plant. The background is completely black]

Hi everyone. Before we begin today’s post, a couple of announcements. First, just a reminder my organization is hiring a Development Director and an Operations Associate. We will begin interviewing soon.

Second, RVC is launching a naming rights campaign. We aim to name everything in the office—from the conference room to the fridge to the microwave to each of the cabinet drawers. Support RVC’s work developing leaders of color, and immortalize yourself, by naming a white board or shoe rack. 

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Earth Day is coming up, and despite our sector being full of thoughtful and amazing people doing awesome work, let’s face it, many of us suck at being green. I was at a fundraising dinner with 500 attendees or so, and noticed that everyone got a 30-page glossy program booklet. Barely anyone took it home at the end of the event, which means that 489 program booklets ended up in recycling or trash. Multiply this by one billion events we have each year as a sector, and we’re basically destroying whole forests.

Maybe we should think about having only one or two booklets per table, and figure out other ways to recognize our sponsors. Plus, since they’re rarer, people might actually want them! 

We also use a lot of disposable utensils for events: Cups, plates, forks, etc. They’re convenient. But maybe we should try to cut back, or use compostable stuff, or do both. And why isn’t edible utensils a thing yet?! I’d love to be able to just eat the plate and napkins when I’m done with my meals. Continue reading

What’s your nonprofit unicorn name/title? Find out here

[Image description: A painting of three unicorns prancing in water. The unicorns are all white with spiral horns. All of them are facing our left, mostly in three-quarter profile. The sky and water are dark blue with splashes of white. Image obtained from Pixabay.com]

Hi everyone, I was writing a post about how we nonprofits can be more environmentally friendly. But yesterday was National Unicorn Day, so colleagues emailed me unicorn pictures and name generators. One of these generators has me as “Dandelion Pretty Pony” and has this description: “Dandelion is a little bit crazy. He is as pretty as a picture, and he brings the sunshine and chases away clouds.” Does that sound like me at all? Does that sound like any of us?! Not to mention it is insensitive to people with mental illness. 

Like all of you, I’ve been kept awake by the sad and disrespectful state of unicorn name generators. So instead of finishing the post on being green—it’ll be published next Monday—I created a unicorn name chart specifically for us nonprofit (including foundation) unicorns. Find out what your #nonprofitunicornname and title are, and write them in the comment section. Don’t forget your nonprofit’s unicorn name, based on your org’s acronym. Share this post with your friends and colleagues. 

Here’s a PDF file you can print (or not print) for your next board meeting, staff meeting, or volunteer orientation. 

You’re welcome!

Continue reading

What is partisan? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more

[Image description: A picture with the profiles of a dog and a cat, staring at each other. The dog is on the left. The top of its head is black, the band around its eyes is brown, and the band around its nose is white. The cat is on the right. It is mainly black, with a white nose and mouth and a thin streak of brown down its forehead. Neither of the animals’ bodies is shown.]

OK, everyone, we need to have a talk. Due to the current political climate, I’ve been noticing that many of us have been more curt and on attack-mode lately. The simplest disagreement sets off chains of arguments. Tension builds, insults fly, and someone ends up stabbed in the spleen. And that’s just over the Oxford Comma. #OxfordCommaForever #OxfordCommasSaveLives #ILoveYouOxfordComma #WillYouMarryMeOxfordComma

I’ve suggested some general agreements to help us have more civil conversations with one another when we don’t agree, rules like “Assume the best intention,” “Seek to understand,” and “No matter how angry you get, don’t bite anyone.” Let’s agree to be nicer to one another, OK? And let’s just be nicer to everyone, even the clueless turd donkeys who don’t agree with you and thus are clearly ugly and wrong. Continue reading

A guided meditation for nonprofit professionals

[Image description: A stone bench on a beach overlooking the ocean. The bench is facing our left. It has two supporting beams and looks worn, with the paint uneven patches of white and grey/tan. The bench is casting a shadow, so it appears to be noon. There is a large boulder a few feet in front of the bench. The ocean is blue, under a clear sky that is slightly lighter blue. The beach has tufts of uneven green grass.]

Hi everyone, it seems that many of us are stressed out. This includes me. I’ve been trying to find a guided meditation program that I like, but they haven’t really responded to the unique challenges we in this sector face. So here’s a guided #nonprofitmeditation to help you all relax:

Find a comfortable position, whether sitting on your favorite donated chair, lying down on a cushy donated sofa, or huddled up in the fetal position beside a milk crate filled with 300 copies of your gala program booklets that you refused to recycle for some reason. Continue reading

Excerpts from romance novels set in the nonprofit sector

[Image description: A red-framed glass window or door with two red hearts drawn on the glass. One heart is big, and the other one is smaller. There are also the initials MC, but they are backward, as if someone had drawn the hearts and initials on the other side of the glass.]

Hi everyone. It’s Valentine’s Day, so time to revive #nonprofitpickuplines (One of my favorites, from a colleague: “Did you forget to file your Form 990? Cause you got FINE written all over you.”)

Recently, I discovered that a couple of my ED friends write romance novels on the side. It made me realize that we have so few books set in the nonprofit sector, and certainly romance is no exception. Our sector, with all its volatility and interesting characters, would make an excellent setting for steamy tales. Here are excerpts from a few potential stories. Thanks to the EDs who came to last week’s EDHH-Seattle meeting for all the great ideas, some of which we could not put down in print.

Disclaimer: The following excerpts are steamy. You have been warned. Do not read further if you don’t want to get all worked up and unable to concentrate the rest of the day.   Continue reading